I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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