I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
