Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
