I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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