those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
