just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize