Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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