We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
