when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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