You smell like a Billy Joel song
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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