Having a random hookup so left but love u
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Randomize
