i was born a porn star she said
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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