Can Purell be used as lube?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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