return my video game
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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