...so i touched it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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