I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize