Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
