I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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