I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
