Tell her she can't have a vagina
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
