Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
