There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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