if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
