your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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