is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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