i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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