I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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