Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
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Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
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Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Drunk is a universal language darling
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