We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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