I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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