We're like a lot better than the average bears
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
