Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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