We're facebook friends in real life
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
