I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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