Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
