I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
