Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
