So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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