Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
