How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
