On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
