check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
