Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Mom said you looked used
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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