also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
