it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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