I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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