Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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