No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
