I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
