the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We're too hungover to prance.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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