3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
