The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
