I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
