I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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