I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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