it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
