Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
