that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize