Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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