we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
