it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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