We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i need some magic done to my vagina
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
