If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
