I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
