Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
