I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
