You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
