DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
